


There's No Romance on the Battlefield

by I_stole_a_cannon



Series: Jedi's Guide to Love, Loss, and Desperation [14]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Allusions to the other parts but can be read as a standalone, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28695543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_stole_a_cannon/pseuds/I_stole_a_cannon
Summary: No one is immune to feelings, despite every Jedi's best effortORAhsoka's bi panic
Series: Jedi's Guide to Love, Loss, and Desperation [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1328081
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	There's No Romance on the Battlefield

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! The gap was still big, but not as bad as it could've been. Happy 2021! In a change of pace, this part was written by the cocreator of the project (Who's been working on this since we posted the first part ages of ago). So enjoy! 
> 
> Find us on Tumblr @the-jedis-guide

Ahsoka had a passing idea what "attraction" was, from watching her fellow padawans stumble over each other as they went through every form of puberty the galaxy had to offer to the, hopefully, exaggerated drama of the holosoaps Verilya pirated for them off channels restricted to temple when things got to be a little too much, a little too serious.

She knew when a padawan even conceived of having stirrings of _that_ kind they were immediately whisked off to Jocasta and her dreaded, dreaded,"family life education" droid. Every padawan who had gone through the dreadful ordeal could no longer look _any_ WA-7 in the optics for at least several standard months.

So far she had managed to avoid that particular fate, something she attributed to Anakin’s own Jocasta related trauma: his late arrival to the temple had fueled a one woman crusade to “save” him from the “Outer Rim common vulgarities” he had must have been raised upon and to replace them with “Good Jedi Values”. Ahsoka couldn’t ever recall seeing her master in the temple library unless absolutely required for a mission, and he often sent her down for any necessary research. 

Honestly, she didn’t blame him. 

His own obvious attraction to Padme and general disregard for the Jedi code didn’t hurt either. There was a whole betting pool among the padawans and even some of the knights as to whether or not anything had actually happened between the two. Personally she had 40 credits on “made out one night after a bit too much Alderaanian wine but couldn’t bring themselves to regret it”. Which may sound like a bit much, but she had heard Heleilei had 200 credits on them being actually _married_ in a secret ceremony held on Naboo. 

Now _that_ was a load of poodu. 

Attraction just makes everything messy and frankly, It makes no sense. One day someone's eye catches the light the right way or their lekku falls just so and suddenly it's like you're under some sort of mind trick? Verilya hadn't even spent so much as ten minutes in Anakin’s presence on their mission together before she had lost all capacity for speech. Anakin had been genuinely concerned that the padawan had been having some sort of fit or other medical emergency. That had been a _very_ long mission. 

Attraction was a foreign adversary to Ahsoka, one she never hoped to make acquaintance with. 

The Force, however, had other plans.

* * *

  1. Patient Zero: Sky Guy 



It had been a long, _long_ drawn-out battle, but finally the fighting was dying down. They were on the planet- well what did it matter what planet they were on anymore? They arrived, tried diplomacy, separatists came, diplomacy failed, all hell broke loose. Just another episode in a seemingly never-ending inter-galactic saga. 

The siege on the base had lasted a standard week- about 16 and a half days on this freak planet, making it seem even longer. Eventually they had won thanks to a classic hair-brained Skywalker™ scheme involving a broken speeder, two sets of clone armor, a plunger, about 2,000 plastoid spoons, and Captain Rex's seemingly endless patience. 

She may be eating her pudding with a fork for a while. 

But finally they were free of the stupid base and its nigh infinite supply of disposable utensils, and making their way to a clearing big enough for the republic ships to land and free them of this stupid planet and its nonsensical rotation.

The relief of finally being outside almost made the overwhelming humidity of the dense and chaotic jungle welcoming. Almost. 

Because not only was it 30 degrees standard with 80% humidity according to their censors, but the thick forest that had prevented pick-up straight from the base forced them down a path only three troopers wide in between trees over a 100 standard feet tall, leaving them vulnerable to attack from the sides.

The few surviving droids from the siege has used this to their advantage, or just dumb luck, and had gotten a few pot-shots in before they could dismantle them. Every rustle of the leaves or snap of twig set her on edge, which seeing as it was a kriffin’ _jungle_ wore on her already thin nerves.

The sound of a small explosion followed by the distinct rustle of a falling tree yanked her from her thoughts.

The tree was massive, and the path too narrow for the troopers to get out the way in time.

She cried out. The tree had already crushed through the jungle canopy and was just above the heads of the still fleeing troopers when-

It stopped. 

Through the branches and a holo-esque shower of leaves she saw, standing tall right in the center of the tree’s path, both arms raised having _caught_ the behemoth with the force- _Anakin._

A few troopers had fallen to their feet in the scramble to get out of the way, and Anakin shifted to hold up the tree with just one hand as he held out the other to the nearest trooper.

“Guess these droids had get smarter sometime” he said to the trooper, and a handsome, easy grin spread across his face, as if holding a three-ton tree was _nothing_ , softening his soft blue eyes- 

Wait, _what._

The realization hit her like a blaster bolt. 

Skyguy, her master, was _attractive to her_. What. The-

“Is everything okay back there Snips?”

Sky-Pretty- _Anakin’s_ , her MASTER, Anakin’s voice broke her out of her revelry.

“UH-UH YUP IT GOOD, er we good, I mean yes Master, we’re all good- I think,” She looked at the clones around her. Rex gave her a thumbs up and a soft snicker. 

She’d have to kick him later.

“Yeah, we’re good here.” Said Rex, trying to cover for her sudden lack of coherency.

“Good” He flashed another _annoyingly_ charming smile, and tossed the tree off to the side as if it were just another annoying branch. 

The line went back to their trudge through the jungle.

At least she could blame her sweat on heat.

Scrap this stupid, stupid planet. 

* * *

  1. Attraction Part Two, Kenobi Boogaloo 



Feeling it- she refused to name _it_ , denial was a tried and true method of the Jedi- for the first time must have knocked something loose in her head tails, because they haven’t even left Morveth 3.5’s orbit yet when _it_ happened again. 

The second time _it_ happened was when they arrived back at the command ship and met General Kenobi for their briefing of the events of Morveth 3.5 (how in the known galaxy could there be .5 of a planet!?). 

After explaining the details of how they had managed to fail diplomacy in record time- literally record time, Talsivay kept track, because a seperatist droid ship docked _right next_ Anakin’s fighter as he had gone to meet the ambassador, the briefing turned into a contest of how high Obi-Wan’s eyebrows could climb up his forehead before they were lost to his perfect hair as they took turns regailing him with the details of their Great Escape.

“Really master we need to stock our bases with more effective anti-siege weapons than spoons, not every platoon is headed by genius _Mcgregor_ screwball like Anakin, seriously it was like that episode where-”

“I think I get the idea Ahsoka.” Obi-wan interjected gently, though she could see a small smile quirk under his immaculate-as-ever beard and hear it in his infuriatingly charming Corasanti-accented voice. This was getting to be impossible.

“Well it was really Ahsoka’s idea to strap R2 to the speeder that really made the whole thing come together, and what she did with the plunger was well-” Anakin flashed her a winning smile she had deliberately stared forward from to avoid its direct power, (she was finally starting to get how Verilya felt) “-inspired.”

“Well, well done Ahsoka, it's good that you are picking up your Master’s . . . varied talents.” Mirth laced with genuine pride was fully evident now in the soft, gentle smile that crinkled his _crystal_ blue eyes.

The praise warmed her chest and,- 

-and 

. . . . _Fuck_ . Classy handsome _Bastard._

“I- uh, thank you Master Obi-wan. Kenobi. Master Kenobi.” Scrap, she had to get out of here. She could _hear_ Cody snickering, and she wasn’t even certain he was in the room. “I uh, if you don’t mind masters I need a rest- to rest, it's been a long, _long_ week, so uh, yeah If I could be excused.” 

“Of course young padawan,” _avoid eye contact, avoid eye contact_ “you’ve done very well on this mission, especially in exercising patience.” Obi-wan replied, shooting Anakin a mischievous look.

“Hey! I happen to be a delight to be sieged in for a week with” Anakin replied with mock reproach, and together they walked back to their quarters.

Anakin turned to her “Hey when we get back do you want to-”

“I’m- uh, gonna go take a shower,” _a long, freezing cold shower_ “very sweaty. From the humidity” _and whatever the force has gotten into her._

“Uh, okay see you-” Ankakin began to respond, but she had already power walked halfway to the fresher.

She was on a roll now wasn’t she?

* * *

  1. Completing the Triumvirate- Padmé



At long last they were _home_ , and never had she been more glad to trade the humidity and wildness of an alien jungle for temperature-and-every other-minute-detail controlled durasteel jungle of coruscant. Even the clanks and bangs and cantankerous droids of the landing bay were refreshing.

Anakin had let her skip the briefing to the counsel- they had told most of it to Obi-Wan anyway, and it wasn’t too complicated a situation- and she was off like a blaster shot almost before he had finished the sentence, leaving Anakin to wonder if he really _was_ that bad to be sieged in with.

After grabbing some emergency provisions from the cantine, she settled into her bed, resolving not to move except for using the ‘fresher or to think about stupid, handsome masters for as long as physically possible.

She managed what she thought was an admirable time of thirty-five hours, having persuaded Barriss to bring her meals (she was truly glad to spend some one-on-one time with her friend) and they would eat together in her room. Her isolation also kept her completely out of sight of the masters, and should keep her out their minds for a little while as long as they didn’t need her for a mission and Anakin doesn’t do anything monumentally stupid.

It was of course Anakin though, being a perfectly reasonable and freakin’ nice friend and master, who broke her streak.

It was lunch on the . . . second day? Third day? What was time anymore when you were constantly hopping from planet to planet each with different rotation cycles interspaced with long stretches in the unchanging void of space? 

It was day two, and they were sat around her desk, finishing the chaka noodles Bariss had brought (Bariss had put her foot down at eating noodles in bed, which yeah fair enough) when her datapad buzzed with a message, interrupting their debate about what it would take to get Yoda’s age out of him.

She steadfastly ignored it as she had every other non-emergency message of the past few days and tried to continue eating, but now Bariss was looking directly at her.

“Are you gonna answer that?”

“No” 

“Ahsoka” Bariss insisted with a fond head tilt.

She took a huge bite of noodles hoping to cut off the conversation and tried to do it with an air of finality as she tried not to choke on her overly ambitious (metal) forkful.

“Ahsoka, as Padawans we have a duty to-”

“ _Fine,"_ She drawled as she picked up the datapad and looked back at Barriss, whose small smile had her wondering how far into that speech she had actually intended to go.

**_*message from: SKYGUY_ **

_Snips- I no it would interrupt ur solitary retreat from society, but t senator has invited us 2 lunch at that new restaurant The Smeltint Pot 4 a "front line perspective of The War" (she heard abt Mope-ith) 2morrow after her speech. She promises there'll b no plastoid 🥄 or any utensil thingies of any kind, which is a lil worrying but what are we if n3ot stoopid n reckless XD you in?!_

_-SG*_

Ugh. She would have to talk to Anakin about his atrocious messaging style but . . . lunch sounded nice. As much as she was worried about flubbing it again in front of her master she genuinely missed her friend, and Padme should definitely keep him distracted. 

"What's it say?" Bariss asked, looking like she was holding back the urge to peek over at the message.

"See for yourself" she passed over the data pad. A mixture of amusement and disgust at Anakin's chat speak inciting an adorable nose wrinkle as Bariss read over the message 

"Which senator is he referring to?"

"Do you really have to ask?" 

Bariss _almost_ held back a laugh "So are you going?"

"Yeah, I guess I could return to the world beyond my room"

"Good," Bariss said and collected their now empty dishes, preparing to leave. "And to facilitate your reentry into regular society, I will not be bringing your dinner, " flashing a soft grin over her shoulder she opened the door with as much a flick as she could manage with her hands full of dishes "come have dinner with the rest of us." She stepped through the door.

Hunh, a joke . . from Bariss. That was new. Maybe she wasn't the only one changing, deviating from the expectations of the jedi by being, well, sentients. 

And speaking of changing, she should probably change out of her pajamas at some point before dinner. Or maybe lunch tomorrow if she can convince the group to grab a corner table.

Finally out of her pajamas (Bariss sent them expedited to temple laundry) she left her room feeling at least fairly presentable to meet Anakin in the hangar bay. They’d be picking Padme up from senate building before heading to the strange restaurant in the hopes of escaping the pomp-and-circumstance of guards, elegance, and expectations that came with Padme’s usual transports and feel a little more like just three friends going out to lunch and not three beings who felt constantly, and all too often literally, responsible for the safety of the Galaxy. 

Anakin also said it’d make her “feel special”. Sure. Whatever helped him meditate at night. 

Speaking of Skyguy the moment she stepped in hanger she was hit with a force wave of _giddiness_. Her master hadn’t the slightest grasp of subtlety and it was a small wonder that every master currently in the temple had not descended on him to give a mass lecture on attachment, complete with power points, diagrams, and ridiculous slide transitions. She might have to ask Tally to adjust her bet. 

She followed the feeling to its source and found her master vigorously buffing a speeder that was already in danger of blinding every being within a 2-block radius as soon as they left the bay. 

“I think you missed a spot!”

“Where?!” Anakin seemed genuinely concerned, frantically looking over the speeder before he’d realized who’d spoken. 

“Oh ha ha, nice to see you too stasis beauty, glad to see you’ve emerged from your carbonite!” He continued on before she could return the jab- “Padme messaged me that the session may run a bit over, but she’s hoping to get the last word in so if we leave now we might get to hear her bust some senatorial ass, that good with you Snips?”

She had guarded the senator many times, accompanied her on diplomatic missions, and listened to recordings of her speeches on the halo net, but she rarely had the occasion to really appreciate her live in her native element; at least without the imminent threat of separatist plots, assasination, or separatist assanation plots to distract her. Plus how could she no to Anakin’s big, bright eyes and infectious excitement?

They arrived at the Senate building, amazingly with no incident; The bright glare radiating off their over-shined speeder causing other drivers to give them the wide berth that one should honestly always give any vehicle her master piloted. 

Thankfully with Chancellor Quanabeans presiding over the meeting they had no interruptions making their way to Senate Floor and were just in time to see Senator Padme Amidala step to her podium. 

Ahsoka had never really understood all the strange and intricate outfits Padme wore. The extent of her clothing knowledge began and ended at “what clothes are both comfortable and combat ready”. She didn't know the difference between a shirt and blouse or the symbolic meaning ao trim on a cape . . . 

But she didn't have to know any of that to understand exactly the message the senator was sending with _this_ outfit: I am very powerful, and very beautiful, get in my way and see what the **_fuck_ **happens.

A silver cape shifted and glittered like it was woven of starlight as it cascaded down her shoulders and trailed along the floor behind her. Underneath the cape a straight dark purple dress gave her the silhouette of a nabooian pillar, emphasizing her perfect posture and sure, elegant strides; Traits that somehow seemed both meticulously practiced and infuriatingly instinctual.

Her hair completed the image.

Not having any of her own hair and the many ways being who did have it had it styled, dyed, and cut it had always fascinated her ever since she arrived at the temple as a youngling (an interest that as of late was starting to work very much against her). She could have stared at Padme’s hair all kriffin’ day, following each individual strand as it formed the impossibly intricate braid that circled her head like a crown and was shot through with a ribbon the same silver of her cape. 

She looked every bit the planetary queen she had been and every bit the intergalactic political powerhouse she was. 

Padme stepped up to the microphone but did not immediately speak, instead she cast her gaze across the room, seeming to meet the eyes of every being individually, non aggressive yet unyielding

As if _daring_ anyone to stop her.

No one did.

In fact the entire Senate and its spectators seemed to hold their breath in anticipation, sensory organs straining to wait and hear what she had to say.

She had taken complete control of the room without uttering a single word.

She recognized the strategy as one the masters has drilled into her for approaching a battlefield: 

  1. Be prepared- with armor too beautiful to allow attention off of her and would deflect any criticisms of her seriousness or authority. 
  2. Assess the situation- she had seen how intently Padme had been listening to the proceedings before it was her turn to speak, and how she was constantly checking it back against the data pad before her that was no doubt prepared with any and all even vaguely related information to the topic of the session
  3. Take control of the situation 



Now it was time for step four- Make your move.

When Padme spoke it was loud and clear and firm and she wielded her words like a master with a lightsaber

“While I can certainly acknowledge the strain on resources this war has caused, forcing our citizens to allow us or the trade federation to plunder their planet will lose us this war faster than any blaster shortage could!”

Padme tore across her enemies defenses,

“How could we persuade planets to join our alliance when we behave exactly like the tyrants the confederacy portrays us to be?” 

And deflected the objections that rained down on her like blaster fire.

“Well there is not going to be an economy if all our citizens are dead or allied to the separatists is there?”

She turned to Anakin to find staring dreamy eyed, head-in-hands at Padme, likely not even taking in a word she said. Head empty, no thoughts but “pretty senator lady”.

At least she wasn’t the only one. 

This was going to be an _interesting_ lunch. 

The next afternoon she and Barriss had been assigned to guard duty together: six long, boring hours staring over the horizon of Coruscant, a view that she usually cherished in her increasingly long stints away from the temple, but was now beginning to make her feel sick. Four hours in they were dangling their feet off the edge of the sentry balcony, sharing a bag of cheese puffs she had sneaked from a vending machine on the lower levels. 

They had begun talking about nothing and everything just to stave off the boredom, so carefully she breached “the topic” to her typically proper friend. At first Barriss had dismissed the idea outright, going on and on about the “Jedi code” and “no attachments” and “proper Jedi decorum”, whatever that last one meant. 

One long, hard look later and she relented, glad to have someone to finally share her feelings with, as any mention of anything approaching “attraction” to her master Luminara was met with a three hour lecture about how Jedi must “repress their feelings” and control their “most primitive and animalistic urges” and sent her down to yet another session with Jocasta’s droid. The sight of any WA-7 now gave her flashbacks.

In exchange for listening to her gush for 15 minutes about Master Fisto’s “utterly enchanting abs” she told her about the experiences she had been having over the past couple weeks and how they caused her to force-punt Rex so high into a tree they had stop to get him down, somehow using all the _cold_ water on the ship home, and how between her and Anakin's love-stupidness they had managed to turn their friendly lunch at a silly fad restaurant into front-tabletiod news, complete with a gif of her trying to heimlich Anakin only to accidentally suplex him. She’d got the jorgon fruit out though.

“Sounds like you have a thing for humans” Barsiss teased with a rare poodu-eating grin.

“WHA-WHAT?!” She sputtered.

Barriss began to lose her usual composure laughing at her reaction.

She had not considered it, but sure enough, so far every single one of her experiences had one commonality: they were all humans

“Someone has a taste for beige!” Barriss elbowed her, starting to double over now from laughter. 

“Shut up” 

It’s not like attraction was exclusive anyway. Barriss had a _very cute_ laugh _._


End file.
